


Eight Little Letters

by emperorpenguin (dortmundbvbbabe)



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Developing Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27230413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dortmundbvbbabe/pseuds/emperorpenguin
Summary: As Leon and Matthew's relationship develops, there's just one thing that they haven't said to each other.
Relationships: Leon Draisaitl/Matthew Tkachuk
Comments: 17
Kudos: 173





	Eight Little Letters

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not completely happy with this but I had to finish a WIP so this is the result

Sometimes, when Leon catches Matthew looking at him he thinks that Matthew might be in love with him. It’s never during or after sex because sex is sex and it’s great, but it’s always in the quiet moments where they just exist in each other’s space. Sometimes, when Leon is sitting in the chair, legs crossed and buried under a thick blanket to stave off the horrific Edmonton cold, and Matthew is sitting on the couch, he’ll occasionally glance over and smile. And it just seems so normal and comfortable and domestic that it seemed so natural to Leon. But he also knew that it wasn’t something that he should get too attached to. 

“Mind if I stay over?” Matthew asked after he yawned for the second time since they’d turned on the baseball game.

“Sure,” Leon said, it was getting late anyways and both of their teams knew they had  _ something _ going on between them. However they conceived of it, Leon wasn’t sure and he didn’t really care. They hadn’t defined what it was either, so he didn’t expect their teammates to know what to think of it either. They were in the undefined land between friends with benefits and lovers. 

“Should I?” Matthew asked as he nodded towards the guest room.

“If you want, but you can just stay in my room,” Leon said, “It’s not like we haven’t done it before.”

“I don’t think I can go another round,” Matthew laughed.

Leon’s eyes scrunched up, “We don’t have to, I wasn’t expecting it, just, yeah, you can stay.”

“I’ll have to leave early in the morning, though,” Matthew warned. 

“That’s fine,” Leon said, “I usually wake up early anyways.”

“Okay,” Matthew said, “Can I borrow a T-shirt?” 

“Would you like my Oilers shirt or would you like my Koln shirt?” 

“Definitely not the Oilers one,” Matthew said. 

They headed to bed, changing on opposite sides of the room in casual, loose clothes that still fit Matthew perfectly. 

As Matthew changed, he caught Leon staring, admiring his toned stomach.

“See something you like?” Matthew asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes and his signature smirk that Leon had grown to love. 

Leon rolled his eyes, “You’re just trying to inflate your ego, now. I’m not going to feed into it.”

Matthew just laughed and settled into bed, checking his phone and Instagram one more time before setting it down on the nightstand and turning towards Leon. 

“What?” Matthew asked.

“Nothing,” Leon said in the dark. He knew it would be so easy to just scoot over the couple of inches that separated them and kiss Matthew. But they didn’t do that. They kissed during sex and hookups because that’s what you did, but they didn’t kiss each other or cuddle each other outside of that, “Good night.”

“Mhmm…” Matthew shrugged into the pillow and slept. In the dim light from the streetlights it was hard to believe that Matthew was the same guy that tormented the Oilers on the ice. His face relaxed from the tension and he settled into the sheets and Leon couldn’t help but think how beautiful he was when he was like this. 

He woke up to Matthew’s alarm and when he checked his own phone for the time, it read 6:47. 

“Go back to sleep,” Matthew said as he rolled out of bed to turn it off. 

“No, it’s time for me to wake up anyways,” Leon said.

“Really?” Matthew asked.

Leon shrugged, “Yeah, I figured we could eat breakfast together before you have to catch the bus.”

Matthew grinned, “I’ll get the coffee started.” 

Leon went to the bathroom and headed out to the kitchen while Matthew was fiddling with the coffee pot. 

“Are eggs okay?” Leon asked.

“Is that what you make for all the guys you bring home?” Matthew asked. 

“Only the ones I want to come back,” Leon said nervously. It was a painfully long moment where he waited for Matthew’s reaction, but then Matthew’s smile widened and curled around his teeth and he just beamed.

“Is that the only thing you know how to make?” Matthew asked.

“Hey, I can make a decent chicken parm,” Leon said, “so there are at least two things.”

Matthew watched from the kitchen bar as Leon shoveled the eggs around in a pan.

Matthew grabbed two mugs from the cupboard, carefully avoiding any that had the Edmonton Oilers logo on it and split the coffee between the two of them. 

Matthew fiddled with both, adding a little milk to his and sprinkling some sugar into Leon’s.

He offered the mug to Leon and Leon just stared at it. 

“You take yours black right with a little sugar right?” Matthew asked. 

“Yeah,” Leon said as he stared into the cup of coffee.

“That’s okay, right?” Matthew asked cautiously as Leon took the first sip tentatively.

“Yeah, it’s perfect,” Leon said. And there it was, something so simple, yet so personal as knowing someone’s coffee order and it was then, sitting across from Matthew at the table sharing overcooked scrambled eggs and coffee that Leon knew he was in love with Matthew. He just didn’t know if Matthew felt the same way.

Before he left, Matthew went to change out of the borrowed T-shirt but Leon stopped him. “Keep it, you can bring it back next time,” Leon said as he gently squeezed Matthew’s arm. 

____________

“Want to FaceTime tonight?” Leon asked when he called Matthew after practice. 

“I can’t, it’s Thursday,” Matthew said as if that explained everything.

“Um, okay,” Leon said, his face frowning in rejection, “That’s cool.”

And as if Matthew sensed he’d erred he tried to reverse things, “But I’m free tomorrow after our afternoon practice if that works.”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Leon said as his mind wandered to what “it’s Thursday” meant. 

He knew he shouldn’t pry, but all of the options weighed on him, and when they did talk the next day one of the first things out of his mouth after saying hello and asking how he was doing was asking what he was up to yesterday. He tried to brush it off nonchalantly as if he was asking if Matthew had seen any good movies lately, but he wasn’t successful. 

“I just have a standing date,” Matthew shrugged and tried to brush it off as unimportant.

“Oh,” Leon’s face fell and he tried to remind himself that they weren’t together, that this wasn’t a relationship and Matthew was free to see and date whomever he wanted. 

“Not a  _ date  _ date, just a standing appointment,” Matthew said. 

“No, uh, that’s cool,” Leon said.

“Fuck, I’m not explaining it well, I’m taking a class, okay,” Matthew said.

“A class? Like a college class?” Leon asked, blinking in surprise but felt an immediate wave of relief knowing that 

“Yeah, why were you jealous?” Matthew asked teasingly, “Did you think I was seeing someone else?”

“I mean, yeah,” Leon said, “you could, we didn’t say there were other people.”

“Do you want me to?” Matthew asked as he chewed on his lip, and Leon knew he was giving them an out, but Leon didn’t want to keep this casual. 

“No,” Leon said, “There hasn’t been anyone since we made this a thing.”

Matthew grinned back, “Yeah?”

“And I don’t want there to be anyone else either,” Leon said.

“Is this your way of asking me to be exclusive?” Matthew asked.

“I mean, we already were,” Leon said.

“Yeah, there hasn’t been anyone for me either,” Matthew said, “Just so we’re on the same page.”

“Cool,” Leon said.

“Cool,” Matthew replied.

____________

  
  


“You should invite Brady for dinner the next time you play them at home,” Leon said. He’d already planned out being able to drive to Calgary for the game and then leave early in the morning to return home. 

“Yeah?” Matthew asked. 

“Yeah, I’d like to meet him outside of hockey,” Leon said. 

Leon sat in the stands for the game, watching as Matthew had a stellar three point game and the Flames came out on top. It was rare that he was able to see Matthew play in person, but it never lost the thrill of it when he was able to attend in person. 

They were going to have a late dinner afterwards, but Matthew had insisted on cooking and so Leon waited for him and Brady in the parking lot after the media. 

Matthew had decided on something simple and easy to cook and Leon was grateful that he’d just have to worry about making a good first impression on Brady and not worry about his cooking skills.

“Shit,” Matthew said as he realized he’d forgotten to buy beer for the meal.

“I’ll run out and grab some,” Leon said. 

“I’ll go with you,” Brady said as the headed for the convenience store three blocks from Matthew’s apartment.

“He loves you, you know? He’s just afraid of admitting it,” Brady said.

“Why?” Leon said, “It’s not like I’m going to break his heart.”

“Yeah, but if he says that, he’s giving you a piece of his heart and he doesn’t want you to trample it,” Brady said as if it was obvious. 

And it stung a little, that Matthew didn’t feel safe or secure enough in their relationship that he didn’t know by now that Leon was in it for the long haul. That Leon was never going to shatter Matthew’s heart in the way that Brady described. Even in the hypothetical scenarios that Leon sometimes envisioned, he didn’t foresee them ever breaking up in some horrible heart crushing way. It was always just some derivative of growing apart either because of distance or because they were moving away from each other.

“I love him too,” Leon said

“Did you tell him that?” Brady asked.

“Not in so many words, no,” Leon admitted. 

“Sometimes my brother needs the first push, especially for things that are important,” Brady said, “you’re important.”

Leon smiled at hearing Brady’s words. 

“Come on, let’s grab the beer and get back before Matthew wonders where we’re at.”

“How do you say cheers in German?” Brady asked over dinner. 

“Prost,” Matthew answered and Leon glanced over to him because that was something he’d never told him. 

Brady just nodded and held up his beer, “Prost!” 

“Where did you learn that?” Leon asked after Brady had left and they’d gone to bed.

“Just picked it up somewhere,” Matthew shrugged, “David’s been teaching me some things.”

“David speaks German?” Leon asked as he tried to remember if he knew that.

“David’s worldly,” Matthew said, “He’s traveled all over Europe.”

“And he thought to teach you a German toast?” Leon asked. 

“Like I said, he’s worldly,” Matthew grinned.

“I love you,” Leon said, “You know that, right?” 

Matthew grinned, “I know.” He leaned over and kissed Leon on the lips, it didn’t escape Leon, though, that Matthew hadn’t said it back, but Leon thought that he could wait until Matthew felt comfortable. He wasn’t going anywhere and Matthew showed him he cared every day, he was.

_____________

“Ich liebe Dich,” Matthew said in thickly accented German when they were spending the week together at Leon’s Edmonton apartment after their teams had both been eliminated from the playoffs.

“What?” Leon’s voice caught in his throat. 

“Uh, Ich liebe Dich,” Matthew repeated, looking more unsure as he repeated it.

“Ich liebe Dich auch,” Leon said in his native language and Matthew’s eyes lit up. 

“Du kannst Deutsch?” Leon asked in surprise.

“Ja, aber nur ein bisschen,” Matthew replied. He looked shyly down at their intertwined hands and started idly playing with them, a habit that Leon recognized for when he was stressed or nervous about something.

“You know how I mentioned that I couldn’t FaceTime on Thursdays?” Matthew asked. 

“Yeah, your class,” Leon said.

“I’m taking a German class,” Matthew said. 

“Why?” Leon asked, “not that I’m not happy about it, I am, but you know I speak English. I’ve lived in Canada since I was a teen.”

“I know, but it didn’t seem fair that the burden of communication was on you, and besides I want to be able to actually talk to your parents when I meet them,” Matthew said.

“Thank you,” Leon said, overwhelmingly touched by Matthew’s gesture. 

“And maybe we could start speaking it more at home too?” Matthew asked.

“Alles fur dich, liebling,” Leon said and from the look on Matthew’s face, Leon was pretty sure his class hadn’t made it that far in the lesson. “Anything for you,” Leon repeated in English and Matthew just smiled. 


End file.
